To be fair...

I live in Denver - Stapleton to be precise. I grew up in South Florida but spent my formative years (18-29) in Chicago. I'm a lawyer and a mom to Lila, born in September, 2011. Bella and Beans are my dogs and my sunshine. I like CrossFit, yoga, reading, and Civilization V.

fromidably:

it confuses me that there is a degree that’s a doctorate in nursing practice

like it makes sense, but also maybe we shouldn’t have started calling medical doctors just “doctor” because confiding

P and I invented a stupid scenario wherein he goes back to school for his doctorate in nursing, and then when any of the medical doctors at his hospital (who nearly all go by their first names only) call him “Paul”, he will correct them and say, “Um, I think you mean Dr. H—-.” We thought that was a hilarious idea. Totes worth the 6 years of schooling for the joke, even though he wouldn’t see a pay increase with the degree.

Postpartum bodies are weird. I genuinely thought for a minute that lump of flesh under his cheek was part of my stomach, and I was trying to figure out why it was sticking out like that. Um, it’s his left wrist/hand,

Postpartum bodies are weird. I genuinely thought for a minute that lump of flesh under his cheek was part of my stomach, and I was trying to figure out why it was sticking out like that. Um, it’s his left wrist/hand,

More complaining

My parents are leaving tomorrow, and as helpful as they’ve been I am so excited to have my house back to my immediate family only. My aunt and uncle were here for 2 weeks before they were here for 2 weeks, so I am burnt the fuck out on family.

But wait, there’s more! My in-laws are coming tonight! The most useless and difficult of all our relatives! The best part is that my FIL throws a damn fit if dinner isn’t ready by 6:15, and I announced last night that our household is done eating dinner. I’m too tired by the end of the day for dinner, I said. So this should go well.

someonesstranger:

Guys! Amber Alert! 

Thought I’d share just in case!

It has been cancelled, thankfully.I don’t understand why they don’t send these until like 11 PM when the kid was missing since 2. Most of us aren’t going to find a kid at 11 PM unless he wanders into our bedrooms because we are sleeping or on our way there. Most of the Facebook comments on the news article are people being annoyed that the alert woke them up. (I confess to being rather annoyed that I was woken up.) They also sent one at like 2 AM earlier this summer.

someonesstranger:

Guys! Amber Alert!

Thought I’d share just in case!

It has been cancelled, thankfully.

I don’t understand why they don’t send these until like 11 PM when the kid was missing since 2. Most of us aren’t going to find a kid at 11 PM unless he wanders into our bedrooms because we are sleeping or on our way there. Most of the Facebook comments on the news article are people being annoyed that the alert woke them up. (I confess to being rather annoyed that I was woken up.) They also sent one at like 2 AM earlier this summer.

My parents are being ridiculously loud cleaning the kitchen, and it’s keeping Lila awake, but you can’t exactly yell at someone for cleaning your kitchen too loudly.

But seriously, I dirtied 3 pans cooking dinner. How long did it take to clean those 3 pans? We are at 45 minutes.

If there is anything I’ve learned from relatives staying with us, it is that P and I are both incredibly quiet and incredibly efficient.

I’m so annoyed by all other people right now. Including PJ. I really need an hour and half to myself.

P is being horrifically grumpy and insisting that he didn’t her to sleep at all last night because PJ was breastfeeding too loudly, and it’s weird that my husband snores while he’s awake.

OC housewives

1. Lizzie and Danielle are absolutely horrible. The gleeful way they shared whet Tamra allegedly said tells us they are lying.

2. My husband is a very, very chill guy, but I can’t imagine him staying as calm as Terry if one of our acquaintances hollered at me to spread my legs. That’s disgusting, and the Beadors are gross.

ipomoeaj, it looks like I intentionally followed your fat baby brag with my own. :)

Meanwhile, this lil chubber had his 2 week pediatrician appt today, and he’s already 10 oz over his birth weight, which is the usual goal for 2 weeks. Nice job, my boobs!

Meanwhile, this lil chubber had his 2 week pediatrician appt today, and he’s already 10 oz over his birth weight, which is the usual goal for 2 weeks. Nice job, my boobs!

First day of preschool for my almost 3 year old! She ran right onto the playground and shouted over her shoulder, “Bye Mom, I love you!”

First day of preschool for my almost 3 year old! She ran right onto the playground and shouted over her shoulder, “Bye Mom, I love you!”